“I think we need to stop talking about and worrying about the insanity that’s going on in the country.” “You mean, we should ignore it?” “Yes! Just like our mothers did when we did something so bad they couldn’t bring themselves to address it and pretended like it didn’t happen.” “Maybe your mother ignored it,…

“Oakley, do you still find me sexy?” “Uh, well, sure, I guess. Why are you lounging around in that skimpy nightgown? It’s 10 degrees outside.” (SMILES COYLY) “I thought maybe you could warm me up.” “Oh, lord, Roxy. I just had my 81st birthday, and I’m undergoing chemotherapy. How MUCH can you expect from one…

“I don’t mind the snow.” “Of course, you don’t. You don’t have to drive in it or work in it. You stay in the house and are warm and comfy, snuggled up in a blanket.” “Oh, yeah, now I remember what a pain in the butt it was when I was commuting to work.” “How…

“I can’t find my will.” “Do you need it?” “Not today, I don’t think, but someone’s gonna need it eventually.” “I’ll help you look, Mom.” “Good. I want to make sure you get my toaster oven.” “Oh, don’t worry about that. I already have one.” “You don’t WANT my toaster oven?” “I didn’t say that.…

“I saw a picture of the president flipping the bird at someone. Apparently, he also told the person to fk off. My granddaughter saw the picture and asked me if that’s something a president should do.” “Well, no, it’s not something a president should do or any of us adults, although I have been guilty…

“Today is January 13th, and it’s Make Your Dreams Come True Day.” “Lord, oh mighty, I certainly hope not. The dream I had last night was horrific! I don’t want it to come true.” “What did you dream?” “I dreamt I owed $1 million in back taxes and ICE was coming for me.” “ICE doesn’t…

“Today is January 12th, and it’s Kiss a Ginger Day.” “Don’t even think about it, crazy woman!”  

“I think you and I should start doing yoga.” “Yoga? Are you out of your mind? We’re nearly 80 years old!” “Just listen to me. I’m getting stiffer and creakier by the day, and so are you. Yesterday, I saw you lose your balance while walking through the living room for no apparent reason. You…

“Today is January 10th, and it’s National Peculiar People Day.” “Are you suggesting that I’m peculiar?” “Well, not exactly. Maybe. But that’s not a bad thing. According to those in the know, peculiar people sprinkle our world with color, making life far more interesting and unpredictable, inspiring us to question the ‘normal,’ pushing boundaries and…

“Today is January 9th, and it’s National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day.” “Hmm. That’s rather ironic considering what happened in Minnesota.” “Not all cops are bad apples.” “I know that, but I think there were a few bad ICE apples in south Minnesota the other day.” “I couldn’t agree more.”